Friday, March 16, 2012

liar, liar

     We have been dealing with my four year old son being creative with the truth lately. Just the other day he cut the slipcover on the couch, and then told me the dog chewed it. Creative, right? In talking with other parents of his classmates, I know he is not the only one, and that makes him "normal" I guess. I also know why kids lie. It isn't rocket science. He is trying to avoid getting in trouble, avoid disappointing his dad and I. What I don't understand is why adults lie. Good question, right? Kids don't fool us with their lying, so why do adults think they can?
     Is it so important to keep up with the Jones' that you spend money you don't have buying home decor, dishes, or expensive accessories? Do the people who worry more about how they LOOK to others, than how they TREAT others think they are fooling anyone? Is living on credit cards and lines of credit so worth it? Our lives changed last year when I stopped teaching. We are learning to live on less. Do I like it? No. It sucks. I miss just going to the mall to spend money. Not shop, but spend. But I don't. I have come to terms with the fact that I don't need a million pairs of shoes. That I can wear $25 dollar sunglasses. I don't need the $200 ones. I am okay with buying my kids clothes from consignment stores. I use coupons. And I don't hide it. I don't try to live a lie where money rules my life. Do you?
     What about the people who lie about others? The one thing I know about telling a lie is that it is so hard to keep track of that lie, who you told it to, and how to not slip up. It has come to my attention that a very good friend of mine, and I have been talked about to mutual friends. And the words that were said were unflattering, and untrue. I am amazed and appalled that this still goes on with people I know. Amazed. I am glad that I have gotten rid of that part of my life, but I am saddened that someone feels so badly about their own life that they feel the need to take my friend down with them.
     I think I feel the worst for the people who lie about who they are. I would like to believe that we live in a world that is more accepting than the one my parent's grew up in. I feel horrible for the people who have to hide who they really are because they can't be true to themselves because of their religious beliefs, or pressure from friends and family to be who the world characterizes as normal.
     So what is my lesson from all of this? I have learned that I need to focus on Cohen's truth telling. I need to praise his good behavior. I need to celebrate him when he breaks a rule and tells the truth about it. I have also learned that I can't destroy who I am by allowing people to lie about me, and about my friends who matter. I have to remain true to who I am, and be true to the people who are in my life.
     That is all.


AlishaHB said...

Brinleigh started lying a ton last year. It took months to get her to understand that we were more irritated with the lying then what she had done and sometimes we had to make it look that way.
I'm sorry about the silliness you have to deal with, remember that your life must be more interesting if they focus in it more then their own.

Kitchen Utensil said...

So true - you must remember those who want to make us look bad to others to gain a shimmer of friendship will eventually find themselves alone. Lies will all be found out in the end and I can't imagine living with that fear. I just read this on a friend's wall this morning and it sums it all up for me :
Also karma is a nasty, cold, leave-you-stranded-in-a-parking-lot BITCH! hahahahaha